Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s as a kid, was pretty fucking awesome. One of my favorite parts about growing up, were my first best friends, Cousins. There is nothing like our parents laughing and drinking at family birthdays, while we were running fucking wild around the house.
It’s 1985, I’m around three an half years old. My mom and I stopped over at my Grandma, Bama’s house to say Hi. I immediately ask if I could go over to my cousin’s, Laura and Melissa’s house. They live next door, how sweet is that shit? My mom sat down at the kitchen table and replied – “Yes, but we are only staying for an hour. We have other errands to run.”
I ran out the door as fast as I could. Fuck, I’m so excited to play! I’m at their front door in seconds, ringing the door bell. Aunt Trinket opens the door, I’m smiling so hard. She smiles back and let me in the house.
Aunt Trinket – “Hi Christine, the girls are upstairs.”
I hurry my ass through the kitchen and dining room. I run up the stairs. There’s no time to waste, when it comes to play time! LET’S FUCKING GOOOO!! I see them in Melissa’s room.
I walk in with my little flushed cheeks.
Laura – “Hi, Christine.”
Me – “Hi, what are you playing?”
Melissa – “We were just about to play Beauty Shop. You want to play?”
Me – “Yea.”
Melissa – “Come on, let’s go in the Bathroom.”
Melissa is 6 years old and Laura is 4 years old. Having older girl cousins, is so cool. Melissa leads Laura and I into the Bathroom.
We start looking through drawers. Opening all of them, poking around, and slamming them shut. Nothing interests us, until we found it…big, metal, sharp scissors. They were fucking huge in our little hands. Play time has suddenly begun.
Melissa – “Christine, do you want me to give you a haircut?”
Me – “Cut my hair?” A simple question with a loaded decision.
Melissa – “Yeah.”
I give a few seconds to think. Is this a good idea? I don’t know. Would my mom be mad? Melissa is a pretty great cousin and she knows what she is doing. She is also smarter than me and knows what’s best.
I open my little mouth to speak.
Me – “Okay.”
I’m standing in front of her. She is a little taller than me.
Melissa – “Let’s see here.” She is playing with my hair.
Melissa – “Let’s do some bangs.”
I don’t even know what bangs are. She gathers all my little wispy hairs and holds them in a tight pinch. She raises the big scissors and starts to cut my hair. You can hair the crunch of the scissors, as she is cutting through my little strands of hair.
She takes a step back and looks at me. Puzzled by her expression, she is not happy with her work. She steps toward and says, she forgot a spot. Makes one more snip to the side.
I turn to look in the mirror. I’m speechless. I don’t know if she did a good job or bad. I think I’m supposed to feel good, but don’t feel anything at all. My hair looks so fucking weird. I keep staring.
Melissa turns to Laura, holding the big metal scissors.
Melissa – “Laura, do you want me to cut your hair?”
Laura is looking at me.
Laura – “Ugh no, I’m okay. “
Just then, my Aunt Trinket enters the bathroom. She screams.
Aunt Trinket – “What did you girls do?!”
Her eyes are wide and she quickly grabs the scissors out of Melissa’s hands. There’s little baby hairs in the sink.
Aunt Trinket – “Girls go to your rooms! Christine come with me.”
Shit, this must be bad. She is walking fast towards the stairs and I go to follow. I’m hurrying, and my little heart is pumping. Am I in trouble?
She walks outside, crossing over into Bama’s driveway. She opens the door for me. I walk into the house and turn the corner to see my mom and Bama sitting.
They both gasp and put their hands to their mouths.
Mom – “Christine, what did you do to your hair?!”
Me – “Ummm, Melissa cut it.”
Mom – “WHY?!” Her eyes are fucking wild.
Me – “I don’t know, we were playing Beauty Shop.”
My face was flushed and my eyes were starting to well with tears.
Aunt Trinket – “I’m very sorry. Once I didn’t hear them, I went to check on them and saw this.”
My mom sighs.
Mom – “Well, the kids are getting their picture taken at JCPenny for Christmas.”
Bama – “Oh my.”
Mom – “Well, I think that’s it for today. Come on Christine, time to go home.” Play time has been cut short, shit.
We get in the car and my mom starts lecturing me on, never letting someone cut my hair, unless it’s a salon and you’re paying for it.
Ohhhhhhhh, I didn’t know there were rules to playing Beauty Shop. Next time, I’ll make sure I have some money to pay Melissa.
I’m very proud of my haircut, because Melissa actually became a hairstylist in her adult life. I like to think I was her first professional cut. Damn, what a feeling. To be someone’s first.
If you ever find yourself in Charleston, South Carolina and needing a haircut, color, or some fucking rocking bangs, she’s your girl. Check out her socials.
Cheers
Swearing Lady 
Fun 🤩 Sent from my iPhone
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