Autism Awareness Month

A lot of you know, I have three boys who ride my ass daily. I can’t believe how fucking different they are…looks, interests, and personalities. It’s like I had sex with three different men…(Chris, I swear it’s not the mailman, he looks like shit everyday…I wish he would tuck in his fucking shirt). There’s some funny ass things that Tucker does throughout his day, at our house, store, random events, etc… Before I open up his stories, which are like SNL skits. I wanted to address how serious it was with Early Intervention, right diagnosis, and getting the appropriate support with Tucker’s needs of special services. Just know, you are never alone if something is going wrong in your life. Always ask for fucking help, don’t forget to cry, and Binny’s is always there for you, when you need it…

My kid doesn’t have Autism? Does he? What the fuck? No, he’s only two….


Tucker was born on June 14th, 2012. It was an easy delivery and perfect timing to be watching the U.S. Open in the delivery room. Another boy and I was not to happy about it. I was an aggressive pregnant bitch, constantly swearing underneath my breathe. My mom and Chris were so scared of me…totally feel bad about that shit now.

Tucker was perfect…slept through the night at 5-6 weeks, a fucking dream baby right there. Napped well and didn’t fuss to much. Only thing he did, that drove us nuts…was he had mild acid reflux. He fucking puked up all the time. We were constantly switching formulas to see if there was any difference. He didn’t need medication because he was gaining weight and nothing was bothering his throat. So, we just smelled like shit for a year and that was a fantastic way to live life. Bottle that shit up and sell it. Ugh so gross…constantly changing my clothes because I smelled like dick. Gross!

12 months…he was smooth sailing, walking, babbling, hitting all milestones….

15 months….Walking and working the room. Such a chill toddler…love his temperament. It’s like he smoked pot before each play date and didn’t have a care in the world. I’m watching my friends deal with toddlers, who are bossy as shit and melting down. So happy Tucker is not a jerk…just found out I was pregnant with Denny…I’m tired.

18 months…Physically he is such a big kid, healthy as fuck! Not talking to much anymore. He has an older brother, that must be it. Patrick must talk for him (even though Patrick has a Speech Therapist too so, Patrick is probably not talking for him) and Tucker loves to watch Patrick. I don’t think anything is wrong?

Denny is born….we’re all doomed.

2 years old…Growing like a weed and pride myself on how tall he is. Where did his words go? Oh well, it will be fine. (Some kids don’t talk till their 5? right?) 

Doctor: “Tucker is not talking much? I don’t like that…are you concerned?”
Me: “No…he’s fucking two.”
Doctor: “I’m setting up Early Intervention to come to your house…”
Me: “What? Why?”

“Parent’s Day Out” at the local Church. Super fucking excited to have Tucker go somewhere once a week. I could use a break from Tucker, while I drag Denny’s fat ass around in the carseat. I think my shoulder is about to give out with carrying him around. The PDO Director wants to talk to me. (Oh shit, what did he do?) Tucker can not transition at PDO, doesn’t understand his name, plays alone, doesn’t interact with other kids, and needs to sit at the same place during lunch.

Early Signs of Autism

Not showing emotions or warm expressions, No words by 16 months
, Not having a sharing of words through conversation, and 
complete loss of speech

2 1/2 Years old…Starts to rip off all wheels from cars and trucks and carries them everywhere we go. He will not look at me in the eye anymore. (Where did my son go?)

Start googling Autism….fuck, I’m seeing some similarities…(No, this can’t be happening. He’s only two.) We have Speech, Physical, and Occupational Therapist who come to my house. They will not talk to me about Autism and keep distracting me with talking therapy.

3 Years old…We have our first Integrated Education Plan (IEP) meeting with our school district. That meeting was easily the worst day of my life. Sitting with 10 staff members regarding Tucker’s plan for Preschool. Oh yea…School Psychologists says…”he most likely has Autism”. Here are some places you can go to get him clinically tested for Autism. Immediate lump in my throat, punch to the gut, holding back tears…my worst fears have come true. (Fuck, Fuck, Fuck…where do I go from here?…Definitely out of this room and straight to Binny’s.)

Pediatrician steps in and saves my fucking day…we make an appointment to go to the University of Chicago…5 months is how long we had to wait…wow.

If you need help…
talk to your Pediatrician, 
local school district, 
or visit Autism Speaks for guidance.

Tucker is in a self-contained and blended preschool class the past two years. The staff is wonderful. They are fucking Angels. All special Ed teachers, therapists, and aides need to make more money and have their asses kissed…fucking Saints!

Finally it’s our time to meet with University of Chicago…Chris got sprayed by a skunk the night before with the dog. He smells like shit. So nervous…Tucker is super busy…we wait in a small room for a team of doctors to talk with us about Tucker. I walk out of the room to use the bathroom and come back. (Holy hell, it smells like skunk in our room?) We can’t stop laughing at the most important meeting of our lives and the room smells like shit talking to professionals. They must think were fucking nuts and unfit to raise any children at this point.

This was our journey from 2014-2015…Tucker was diagnosed at 3 1/2 years old and will be five in June. We’ve had major leaps and bounds and also huge set backs. Everyday we learn something from him. He humbles us faster than anything. We wouldn’t change this journey for anything. Life is not perfect and you always need to find the good in the fucking bad.

Dedicated to Tucker’s Light it Up Blue Family!! 

Love all you!
Chris, Patch, Denny, Blanket & Gunka, Uncle Johnny, Aunt Biscuit, Little Johnny, Natalie & Jack, Uncle Andy, Aunt Jackie, Tommy & Elton, GG & Papa, Uncle Mike, Aunt Jen & Declan, Auntie Val, Chelsea is the shit, Drinking Knitters~Teacher, Commando, Mrs. Trump/Osteen, Bush Waxer, Bar Bitch, Petunia, Drinking Husky, & Dean, Aunt Jennifer & Uncle Bird Dog, “Nate The Great”, Cali Aunts~Aunt Peg & Aunt Dar, Aunt Patti, Aunt fucking Gina & Charlie Girl with friends, The greatest fuckers~Lynn & Blue & Alison, Jane “Smashed Friday”, Grandma Denny, Grandma Ruthie, Katie Hillegass in tow with Joey and Charlie, Katie “I talk to much” Kilrea, Barb aka “Mother”, Glen Ellyn’s finest~Mike, Lindsey, and EJ Radek, The most amazing Fuckers~Purdom, Blake, Avery, Keegan, God is with you Ryder, Grandma Holy, CiCi, Chuckie, Chase, Lauren, Charlie, Hunter, Brad, Kristen, Madeline, Brady, Tanner, & Fucking Myles, Robb “I’m so skinny I don’t care about anyone, but myself, Laurie, Jack, Reese, Hayden, My oldest bud~Michelle, Charlie, & Bridget, Cindy (Where have you been all my life?), Lucy & Sam, Meg, Chad & Becks, Parker, Fucking Snyder’s~Tim, Kaci, Emma, & Lily, and, Holy shit the Short’s~Jeff hates Purdue, Stacy, Teddy, & Connor #doGE…Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you

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