Take Your Daughter To Work Day

What the fuck is take your daughter to work day? 

Take your daughter to work day was an idea, Marie Wilson had for women in the workplace, starting in the early 1990’s. It later was founded in April, 1992 by Gloria Fucking Steinem and the Ms. Foundation. The first day, was celebrated on was April 22nd, 1993. This event occurs every fourth Thursday in April and recognized by millions of people. It was a way to explore career education. Boys were included too, but not recognized till 2003. The Foundation wanted to promote girls self-esteem issues unique to girls and explore career opportunities. Initially it resisted pressure to include boys. Don’t worry, they eventually included boys in 2003. Can’t wait to take Patrick, Tucker, and Denny to work with me when they get older. It’s called fucking pick up your own shit and pour me more wine Day. 

Back then, this sounds like the best day to ditch fucking school. My dad owns a landscaping business and my mom stays at home calls herself a domestic engineer. It’s 1995, my cliquey girlfriends and I are at lunch talking about what our parents do for a living. 

Friend #1: “Is anyone going to work with their dad’s tomorrow?”

Me: “Yea I am. I get to be outside in the fresh air and work with professional landscaping crew.” Really fucking talking this family business up.  

Friend #2: “Oh that’s nice, well I get to take the train into the city. We are going to a bank and I get to see a vault.” Fuck, that sounds pretty cool and even a little jealous. 

Friend #3: “Hmm, my dad doesn’t do anything cool I want to see. So, I’m going to be with my mom. She sells pens. We probably will go out to lunch too.” I hope my dad takes me out for lunch. In reality, lunch is either at White Hen or Otto’s.

Take your daughter to work day is here! 

That morning I woke up…put on my jeans, work boots, and fleece jacket. Fucking Jr. High Christine is pumped to not be going to school. My brothers can not even believe this is actually a day and wondering why they can’t ditch school. I wonder what I am going to be doing today? Maybe plant some flowers, ride around in trucks, water some bush? Oh man this is going to be great. 

Dad: “Christine are you ready?”

Me: “Yea…” very nervous and hope I can live up to his landscaping expectations. That will be impossible, with my big brother who fucking eats, sleeps, shits, farts, landscaping…I am going to impress him with my work ethic. I actually have no work ethic.

I walk outside the weather is cloudy, damp, and rainy. Fucking April. I hop in his truck and we drive off. It smells like gas. I love that smell. I could sniff this shit all day. There’s snacks all over the place, wrappers, and papers all over the dash board. He has his clip board sitting in the middle of us. It’s a list of some kind. His handwriting is fucking scribbly. If my dad ever leaves you a note, good luck decoding it. We pull into a parking lot and park. Where are we? I’m a little turned around. 

I get out of the truck and it’s misting on us a bit. 

Me: “Dad it’s raining.” 

Dad: “So what? It’s just some light rain.” 

Fuck, I’m getting wet. He doesn’t give a fuck.

Dad: “Okay, I want you to walk around this park and pick up sticks.” 

Me: “You want me to pick up sticks?” What kind of fucking job is this? What am I a dog?

Dad: “Yea, there’s a lot of branches down from the weather and I need them out of the way to mow.” 

Me: “Oh okay.”

Dad: “I’m leaving to go check on Jose and the guys.” 

He got back in the truck and drove away. What the fuck is this? He dropped me off at a Park to pick up sticks. It’s misting shit on my face, this sucks. I start walking around picking up sticks and throwing them in random bushes. This is the worst. Do you think he will come back for me? When he said he will be right back, is that in an hour? He was very vague about leaving. He is late to EVERYTHING. Great, I might as well start walking home. That’s not a good plan, because I have no idea where the fuck I am. 

Time has past and I see a truck coming back. Oh Thank God.

Dad: “You pick up the sticks?”

Me: “Yea.” This park is so big, I don’t even know if I made it all around. I pretty much just wandered and swore in my head the whole time. Imagining my friend in a vault and the other eating a fancy fucking lunch.

Dad: “Okay you are going to mow the park.” 

Me: “Me?” I have never ridden on the a law mower before. I have mowed the lawn with a push mower, but was fired instantly. I ran over a hose and a baseball like it was nothing in my front lawn. Literally the hose was laying in the grass. Fucking plowed right through it, like it wasn’t even there. Severed that shit to pieces. I totally fucked up the mower blade running over the baseball. I saw the baseball too, just chose not to pick it up. Just kept my head down and acted like nothing happened or anything was in my way. Funny how the kid brain works. Johnny couldn’t believe it. This baseball had a huge fucking gash in it, the strings all over the place in the grass. Now, my dad trusts me to mow this park on a riding lawn mower…okay, fuck it.

My Dad jumped on the mower and showed me how go forward, reverse, and turn. I was moving these levers around trying to make turns. This machine scared the fuck out of me. I have no business doing this. I think my dad is loving it, because I’m free labor. I started off and he watched me work across the park. My little body is jerking around on this equipment. Then he waved and took off in the distance. What the hell? Where the fuck did he just go? There was no warning, he just left. Who leaves a 13 year old girl on a lawn mower? My dad does. I kept going back and forth, my butt vibrating up and down. Running over any stick I can find. This park felt so big, I was never going to get this finished. Suddenly I started to get a headache. 

I was feeling worse with each row I made. My nose started to run like a faucet. Oh no, Am I getting sick? I see my dad driving back. Where does he go? 

I drive the lawn mower over to him. 

Me: ” Dad, I don’t feel good.”

Dad: “What’s wrong with you?”

Me: “I think I’m getting sick. I can’t finish.” 

Dad: “Oh what the shit?” Such a thoughtful parent. “Do you want to lay in the truck?”

Me: “Yea.”

I climb into the truck and lay down. My head was hurting so bad and it felt so good to be out of the rain. Breathing in the smell of gasoline from the seats. My dad finished the rest of the park. He drove me home. 

I walk into the door all droopy and wet.

Mom: “What happened?”

Me: “I don’t feel good.”

Dad: “Yea she’s done for the day.”

This day that was supposed to be fun and exciting. It was not what I expected. I ended up staying home from school the next day with a temperature. Take your daughter to work day is a crock of shit for me. I thought I was going to get this fun filled day of being in Mother Nature. I never wanted to take off school again. My mom asked me next year if I wanted to stay home and clean with her. Fuck no, I would rather be in school. This day is actually teaches your kid to stay in school as long as they can. Working is a bitch.